Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Books

Spies in the Himalayas: Secret Missions and Perilous Climbs (Modern War Studies) by M. S. Kohli, Kenneth J. Conboy

I borrowed this book from a friend in 2004. I have always been amazed at people living and trekking in Himalayas. It's a world that I have not yet experienced, and it's very much in my wish list. Anyway, this book was more like a thriller and explained the hardships faced by the climbers. With international politics coming into play, it got more interesting. The climbing experience has been explained in such a great detail, that my craving to be a part of a climbing expedition has deepened.

"Before you are too weak or old you must meet and merge with the beloved Himalayas - it is my wish and my blessing." - Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

God's Debris by Scott Adams
A very hilarious, but thoughtful book. At the outset, it seemed to be a very silly idea - God destroying himself and the resulting debris forming the Universe. Inspite of the disclaimer, it is very much possible to believe in his idea and accept it as a possibility. However, I liked the questions raised in the book and the way the whole existence has been explained. It just shatters some of the accepted ideologies and leaves you in a world where everything is unknown.

Code name God by Mani Bhaumik
A friend's father suggested this book when I was questioning a lot about God and Universe. I needed scientific explanations for many things that are happening around us. When Uncle suggested the book to me, I was not impressed with the name of the book. However, I knew that Uncle understood my situation and so I decided to try. I was surprised to know about the author - inventor of a kind of LASER rays that is used in LASIK. A Scientist author-- hmm...my interest in the book soared up.
The first part of the book did not impress me as much as I had expected. It was all about India's struggle for freedom and how the author's life was impacted by this. Little did I know that the early life of the author would help him to realise himself at later stages. The author's transition from being a poor boy to a student, researcher, Scientist, Rich man (sought after by Hollywood artists and politicians), lonely old Man and finally someone who understand so much about Life.
For the last one year, I have been hearing that E=mc2 and spirituality are related. However I had never understood theory of relativity as well as I should have, so I could not relate it to spirituality. This book helped me to understand Quantum physics and Theory of relativity a little more deeply. Some questions that have been troubling me throughout my life got answered, thanks to Mani Bhaumik. Here's one other person who achieved so much in the materialistic world, but experienced a big gaping hole in his life - there is something more in life than cars, houses, money, business, etc.

Albert Einstein and the Theory of Relativity by Herbert Kondo
After reading Code name God, I knew that my next stop would be at an Albert Einstein book. I think this is my 3rd attempt at reading a book on Einstein - and I was successful in completing this book. During my previous attempts, I was getting lost after reading couple of pages. Thanks to Mani Bhaumik for laying the foundation. This book is about the man, his life and his Theory of relativity. I wouldn't say that I understood the theory after reading this book - it'll be an insult to Einstein and to many other Scientists who are still struggling to understand what Einstein has found - but I am one step closer to understanding it.

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." - Albert Einstein

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Population explosion in India

Population explosion in India is one thing that has been of concern to me all through my life. For any social problem(poverty, unemployment, pollution, environment exploitation, etc), the root cause is almost always Population Explosion.

When I knew that in countries like Singapore, the government gives incentives to families with more children, I always wondered how to bring about a population balance in the world.

When people migrate from India to other parts of the world, we can consider it as some means of population distribution. But what worries me is the fact that Indian couples who would have had just one kid if they were in India, think differently when they go abroad. One common excuse I hear is 'The kid will be lonely'. It maybe true that if there are 2 kids, they might give company to each other. However, this is not always true. Kids tend to spend more time with their friends as they get older. Also, in single child families, the kid finds a friend in his/her parents.

So why bother to have more than one kid. Some people may like to have more kids at home, why can't such parents consider adoption? When there isn't enough resources for the existing population, when we have failed to give our children a better world to live in, why are we neglecting those children who are in-need?

Another Salt Satyagraha!!

I was reading this article about Salt Satyagraha - organised by Art of Living foundation.
http://216.151.32.17/Salt%20Satyagraha.htm

Until now, I was not aware of this salt ban.
http://www.indiatogether.org/2005/aug/gov-saltban.htm

After reading these articles, I was wondering what I should do. I used to have thyroid related problems 7 years ago. So maybe I should go with iodised salt. However, I don't have iodine deficiency now. Also, my husband does not have any such problem, so why trouble him with excess iodine? We get enough iodine from vegetables. I don't live in a iodine deficient area, so the vegetables should take care of my iodine requirement. Also, if there comes a time when I get iodine deficient, doctors would then suggest me to go for iodised salt. Until then, I should not worry about it. Who said 'Prevention is better than cure'? I don't want to take medicines or iodine to save me from deficiency issues in the future.

We get into these kind of confusions every now and then in life. The more you know, the more chances of getting confused. So what is the best way to resolve this?

When I learnt that Garlic, brinjal, onion, asoefetida and green chillies are negative energy items, I was able to cut down on these(I eat just 1 onion and 2-3 green chillies in a week. Brinjal, asoefetida - NO NO in my kitchen. garlic - I use it very rarely). I don't know about this iodised salt, but I stopped eating non-veg food, dairy products and the negative energy items, just by listening to my body. My body was not comfortable with these items. As of now I am not sensitive enough to know whether my body needs rock salt or iodised salt.

Researchers in the food industry and people who know the benefits of natural food will always make sure that we get confused with their conflicting information. It is left to us to take the right decision for us and our family.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

நிலாவைப் பார்த்தேன்

நிலா - என்றும் என் மனதைக் குளிர வைக்கும் நிலா, இன்று ஏனோ வித்தியாசமாக தெரிந்தது. சூரியனின் ஒளி அதன் மேல் படுவதால் மட்டுமே அது நம் கண்ணுக்கு தெரிகிறது. இங்கிருந்து பார்க்க அழகாக இருந்தாலும், அருகில் சென்றால் இந்த அழகு தெரியாது. இவ்வளவு வெண்மையாக வெளிச்சம் இருக்கும் அந்த இடத்தில் இப்பொழுதுள்ள வெப்பம் நம்மால் தாங்கக் கூடிய அளவில் இருக்காது. ஆனால், இங்கே பூமியில் குளிர்ச்சி இருப்பதால் நிலவும் அப்படியே நமக்கு தோன்றுகிறது.

பகலில் ஒரு குளிர்ந்த கண்ணாடி அறையில் சூரியனைப் பார்த்தால் சூரியன் குளிர்ச்சியாக நமக்கு தெரியும். அதே போல் வெப்பம் நிறைந்த கண்ணாடி அறையில் இரவைக் கழித்தால், நிலா கண்டிப்பாக கொதிக்கும் அணல் போல்தான் நமக்கு தோன்றும். ஒரு பொருளோ, மனிதனோ இப்படிதான் என்று நாம் நினைக்கலாம், ஆனால் அதுவே உண்மை ஆகி விடாது.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Rate my life

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:
8.3
Mind:
7.1
Body:
8.6
Spirit:
7.6
Friends/Family:
7.4
Love:
10
Finance:
8.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Monday, August 14, 2006

Child Adoption

If you've seen the movies 'En bommukutti ammaavukku' and 'Kannathil muthamittaal', you might know something about Child adoption. I started thinking more about the associated problems when I first heard Dr.Manorama(President, CHES - Community Health Education Society) say this-
"There are some people who are interested in adoption, but they decide otherwise after counselling".
This happened 4 years back. I wanted to know what are the problems that might change your mind and I came up with a list of questions. After discussing with friends and families, I realised that I had to go for a counselling to get the answers.

Before I jump into the questions and answers, I should write about my thoughts on adoption. My ideas are with respect to Indian families. Adoption is more common in US, I don't know much about their ideas.
1. A Couple might consider adoption if they cannot have a child of their own. Even then, they first try to adopt or take care of their sister's or brother's child. Only if that does not work out, they might go for adopting a child from an orphanage.
2. I've heard from a couple of friends who are divorced or who haven't found a life partner, comment that they might go for adoption.
3. Couples who say 'Have One, Take One' - Have your own child, adopt one more child.

I really admire such parents, who take such a great step towards a loving world. There are some couples who say that they don't have time for pregnancy and so they go for adoption. There are few others who are afraid of pregnancy. I am not sure if these reasons are strong enough. If you don't have time for pregnancy, then you won't have time for raising the child too. According to an adoption counsellor, giving a child to such parents might give the child a family, but the child might still feel as an orphan.

Sometime in 2004, a mother of two boys from the Chennai slum area attended an AIDS awareness campaign conducted by CHES. She then visited the CHES ashram where AIDS affected kids are taken care of. She became attached to a girl called Subhashini who was less than 6 months old. This mother decided to adopt the kid, but the kid was HIV positive. Until a child is atleast 6 months(or 3 months, I am not sure) old, we cannot be sure if the baby will remain HIV positive. The virus traces from the mother could be in the baby's body. So CHES decided to let Subhashini live with this mother under the condition that if Subhashini is found positive when she turns 6 months old, she will be taken back. I just admired this mother who adopted Subhashini under such circumstances. Also, she is an illiterate and poor. The slum people initially rejected Subhashini, then they started adoring the baby. Another mother from the neighbourhood also adopted a baby from CHES. Great minds and Divine people! Love and care does not come with education and money. We should learn from such people.

Note: I don't know the status of Subhashini now. I need to check with CHES.

When I went to India in June '06, I decided to go for the counselling. I got a lot of information and answers to all my questions. I decided to blog it for the benefit of people like you who are reading this.

I met a counsellor at Families for Children, Pothanur, Coimbatore. Here's what I learnt from him.

In India, especially in Tamilnadu, couples usually adopt children only after they've consulted different doctors, saamiyaars, temples and the ultimate Dr.Kamala Selvaraj. This is usually 10 to 14 years after their marriage. When they finally go for adoption, they would be desperate. So they start pampering the kid after adoption. Parents buy them anything and everything that the kid asks for, beyond their financial limits. They cannot discipline him because they cannot raise their voice to that kid. This spoils the kid's attitude.

Once you register for adoption, it might take upto 2 years for getting a child. After a child is identified, adoption does not happen immediately. The child will start living with the adopted parents - "pre-adoption foster care" - for 3 to 18 months. During this time, the families could be audited by a social worker. Then the legal adoption takes place.

As per Indian laws, Hindus can adopt a child below 15 years of age. The child gets property inheritance and other legal rights. Non-hindus can be appointed as legal guardians for the child. In this case, the child cannot inherit ancestral property, unless a Will is made.

Adopted parents have formed an association in Coimbatore "Adopted Families Association". These families meet once in 3 to 6 months. This way, adopted kids do not feel that they are different. Also, this helps parents to discuss day-to-day adoption related issues and get suggestions from experienced parents.

Adoption agencies suggest that it's never too early to tell the child that he/she is adopted.

It is advisable to tell the child before he is 8 years old. Once the child gets into the teen years, he will have other problems. When he is in his teens, if he gets to know that he was adopted, he will lose faith in his adopted parents. I heard about a parent who celebrated their adopted daughter's 2nd birthday at the orphanage from where she was taken. They told her that she came from that place and showed her the places where she would have played, etc. Also, by telling the child earlier, problems created by society can be avoided. If the child is aware of this and if someone in school tells the kid that he is adopted, the adopted kid can coolly reply 'Yes, I know. My parents have told me. So what?'. They can be confident and also assertive.

One such adopted girl did not know about her adoption until her puberty function was held. It was very grand. She heard someone commenting "Look at these parents. See how much they are spending for an adopted child". That was the end of her faith in her parents. More than gratitude, she felt that her parents cheated her. The daughter-parent relationship could not be mended after that.

Another problem in adoption is the age of the child. It's advisable to adopt a kid below 3 years of age. Once the child crosses that age, it will be difficult for him to get used to the new environment at the adopted parents' house.

What is 'Root searching'?
If you've seen Kannathil Muthamittaal, you can understand what it is. Inspite of having loving, affectionate parents, adopted children may be curious to know about their biological parents. As per Indian law, root searching is not allowed. Nevertheless, the adoption agency does maintain the records of the adopted children until they turn 18 years old. Children adopted by non-Indian parents can try to find their biological parents with the adoption agency's help.

Why is 'Root Searching' not allowed?
The biological parent might be poor or rich. If the biological parent is poor, the kid might try to help them. But those parents could emotionally blackmail or demand financial benefits. If the biological parents are rich, then the child could interfere in the biological parents' life.

For a couple to adopt a child, the composite age of the parents should not be greater than 90 and no parent should be more than 45 years old.

Once a couple decide to adopt a child and submit an application, a social worker will visit their house. There will be periodical checks. So it is advisable to first settle in one place. If we have a travelling lifestyle, then the social worker will mark it as a comment in the report. It may or maynot stop the adoption agency from approving the application.

After adopting, the parents should provide a status report with the child's photo every 3 months. The court may rule that this should be done for 5 years or more. The parents can also contact the agency to get assistance related to the emotional well being of the child. There have been situations when parents could not handle the child and the adoption agency counsels them. When I went to FFC, I heard about a boy who became seriously ill during the pre-adoption foster care period. The agency told the parents that they will take the child and care for him.

Adoption agencies suggest that support from grand parents and other blood related relatives should be obtained. Atleast people staying in the same house should support. Otherwise, the kid will have a tough time growing up.

Counsellors stressed on the importance of skin contact between an adopted baby and the adopted parents. Even if a mother does not carry the child for 9 months in her womb, skin contact has the power to establish a strong bond between the baby and the mother/father.

One question that many people ask when it comes to adoption is
"What if the baby was born to a thief or a bad parent? Won't the genes carry such wrong traits?"

Answer: Science has proved that certain features are carried in the genes. But being a good person or not is completely dependent on the way the child is treated and brought up. If the parents are loving and friendly, that will make a lot of difference. A child can be active or shy by nature. That could come from the genes. But if the parents can accept the child as is and appreciate the individuality of the kid, then life will be smooth.

All of us cannot adopt a kid. Each one of us should know what will give us happiness. Also, before making a decision, we should gather sufficient information. Then if we make a decision, it will be an informed one and we will never regret to have made that decision.

Disclaimer: These are based on my discussions with "Families for Children" and other such sources. Please do not hold FFC responsible for the content here.

Bombay Dreams at Fox Theater, Atlanta, GA

Since the day I came to Atlanta, I wanted to go to the Fox Theater. Last week, as I was browsing through www.sulekha.com for some programmes in Atlanta area, 'Bombay Dreams' caught my eye. The show that was first staged in London in 2002 and later in Braodway in 2004 is now in our city! All I knew about this programme is that the music is composed by A.R.Rahman. I always had a liking for theater, thanks to my friend Sundar who introduced me to this.

On 11-Aug-2006:
I wasn't sure about the dress code at Fox theater. Last year, when we went for the Atlanta Orchestra Symphony, I bought a new dress. So my husband was worried if I would buy another new dress for this also. Fortunate for him, I decided to wear a churidhar.

Our seat was located in the Orchestra level, right in front of the stage, some 10 rows from the front. The theater was really amazing. I liked the infrastructure. After sitting down I looked up and saw the night sky. I got confused 'cos it was sunny outside. Then I realised that a small strip in the ceiling was setup as the sky. The best part was that the clouds were moving and they even changed their shape just as in the real sky. That was amazing.

Bombay Dreams started - the opening scene was in the Bombay slum area. The story is about a slum boy with Bollywood dreams becoming a movie star. Every possible masala in Bollywood movies was incorporated. The actors were not Indians, they were either Americans or British, some of them were of Indian origin. I was mesmerized by their performance. It was like watching a Hindi movie - LIVE. The actors delivered the dialogues, danced and sang, all by themselves. The best was the rain dance - they had a water fountain on the stage and the actors danced and sang. Initially I thought that the voices were given by someone from behind. When I realised that the actors were singing on their own, I couldn't but admire them. There were more Americans than Desis in the audience. They seemed to understand the heavy accent and they enjoyed the songs and dances. There was a marriage scene too - very colourful. There was a villain, who kills the hero's eunuch friend. The hero then stops the marriage between the villain and the heroin. After a small dishum-dishum(heroin hits the villain), the security(or police) guy carries the villain away - just as in our movies. However, unlike our Indian movies, the drama closed with the hero kissing(French kiss) the heroin.
Highlight of the drama - there were 16 songs in the 2.5 hour show

Though the story, costumes and settings were not new for me, I enjoyed watching the actors perform live. In one of the duet songs, the hero and the heroin changed their costumes thrice. Even the dancers in the background changed their dresses. Their planning and timing should be appreciated.

Friday, August 11, 2006

ஓவ்வொரு பூக்களுமே........

ஓவ்வொரு பூக்களுமே சொல்கிறதே
வாழ்வென்றால் போராடும் போர்க்களமே (2)
ஓவ்வொரு விடியலுமே.. சொல்கிறதே
இரவானால் பகல் ஒன்று வந்திடுமே

நம்பிக்கை என்பது வேன்டும்... நம் வாழ்வில்
லட்சியம் நிச்சயம் வெல்லும் ஒரு நாளில்
மனமே ஓ மனமே நீ மாறிவிடு
மலையோ அது பனியோ நீ மோதிவிடு

உள்ளம் என்றும் எப்போதும்
உடைந்து போகக் கூடாது
என்ன இந்த வாழ்க்கை என்ற
எண்ணம் தோன்றக் கூடாது
எந்த மனித நெஞ்சுக்குள்
காயம் இல்லை சொல்லுங்கள்
காலப்போக்கில் காயமெல்லாம்
மறைந்து போகும் மாயங்கள்
உழி தாங்கும் கற்கள் தானே
மண்மீது சிலையாகும்
வலி தாங்கும் உள்ளம் தானே
நிலையான சுகம் காணும்
யாருக்கில்லை போராட்டம்
கண்ணில் என்ன நீரொட்டம்

ஒரு கணவு கன்டால்
அதை தினம் முயன்றால்
ஒரு நாளில் நிஜமாகும்


மணமே ஓ மணமே நீ மாறிவிடு
மலையோ அது பனியோ நீ மோதிவிடு

ஓவ்வொரு பூக்களுமே சொல்கிறதே
வாழ்வென்றால் போராடும் போர்க்களமே


வாழ்க்கை கவிதை வாசிப்பொம்
வானம் அளவு யோசிப்போம்
முயற்சி என்ற ஒன்றை மட்டும்
மூச்சை போல சுவாசிப்போம்
லட்சம் கனவு கண்ணோடு
லட்சியங்கள் நெஞ்சோடு
உன்னை வெல்ல யாருமில்லை
உறுதியொடு போறாடு
மனிதா உன் மனதை கீரி
விதை போடு மரமாகும்
அவமானம் படுதோல்வி
எல்லாமே உறவாகும்
தோல்வி இன்றி வறலாரா
துக்கம் இல்லை என் தோழா

ஒரு முடிவிருந்தால்
அதில் தெளிவிருந்தால்
அந்த வானம் வசமாகும்


மணமே ஓ மணமே நீ மாறிவிடு
மலையோ அது பனியோ நீ மோதிவிடு

ஓவ்வொரு பூக்களுமே சொல்கிறதே
வாழ்வென்றால் போராடும் போர்க்களமே
ஓவ்வொரு விடியலுமே.. சொல்கிறதே
இரவானால் பகல் ஒன்று வந்திடுமே

நம்பிக்கை என்பது வேன்டும்... நம் வாழ்வில்
லட்சியம் நிச்சயம் வெல்லும் ஒரு நாளில்
மனமே ஓ மனமே நீ மாறிவிடு
மலையோ அது பனியோ நீ மோதிவிடு


---ப.விஜய்